This that and me.

Hmm i just read my last blog. I am one of those,If i write, i keep on writing and then i don't read what i have written *damm those 1/2 marks i could have earned in my uni days if i had just bloody well read my reports*. Anyway what i noticed was *from my last blog*, that i have used too many '....' and since i have written what i was thinking at the time * on the fly*, i should have rehashed it. So point to myself from now onwards. ok two points

1. Read what i write ( won't happen anytime soon)
2. Don't use too many .....
3. Re-hash long blogs to make them cohesive and easily readable
4. That's three points not 2..... i am not following what i said earlier * called lack of discipline*

anyway... today's topic

This

This life of mine is interesting. More annyoying. On one hand, i am a typical human-being. I want more. More of everything. Better everything. NEED this NEED that. I use the word need like most of us do *VERY OFTEN*. It is such a strong word. Such a deep word, a word so close to us. Around 30,000 people died today of Hunger and I NEEDED my dinner to be hot ?. So yes you like --> me NEED things. Ah relativity * <-- a strange phenomena only seen from phsyics point of view, should be studied more from a social point of view*. Anyway back to the topic *see again i am talking at different levels, Olive don't do that *. So i like every one of us is caught up in this rat race we call life.

On the other hand, I have no need to NEED many things I need. More like want. Just like you reading this blog. Do you NEED 7 hours of sleep 2nite? mind you a woman has just lost her baby as it died of hunger in her lap. So you want to sleep. The baby has died. There are starving people in the world. You donate to worldvision/redcross just like i do. You have done your part. You NEED your sleep. This is annoying bit, right here, i am aware that i don't need what i need and i resent the fact that i am not doing anything about it except whinging to you. Well at least i am doing something about it * see i have started justifying* by writing to the world rather than just thinking and talking to my loved ones like i have done since i .. actually don't know since when, can't really recall THE moment. Never sat under a bodhi tree.

Anyway the problem as you may have noticed is that i am aware. Shit it sucks. I am aware and i am not doing anything about it. And even if i do something about it it wont be enough. Infact donating $54,000,000,000USD and keeping $10,000,000,000 like WB just did, Won't still be enough *point to myself, i don't have that kind money * .

That

So doesn't it really suck to be me? It would have been great to have been born completely ignorant, in an complacent environment, hated everyone who did not look like me or came from MY country. This would have been great. Life would have been a bliss. Then i would have watched Entertainment News, read tabloids, would have cherised Kidman getting married what's his name? * i mean seriously what the fuck have the done for you and me .. why would you care* infact its because of people like us they are spending $20,000 a nite in Bora Bora. How wonderful. Great.. oooooh ísn't she preety? oooooh .. doesn't wats his name sing well.
Damm would have loved to live like that, Not giving a fuck or more so not have the ability to give a fuck ie. to the world around us doing all the stupid things mentioned above and living peacfully.. Oh no.. instead i HAVE to give a fuck.. i have to get pissed of at myself for driving my Honda to the train-station and pollute the very environment, i have to hate myself for buying clothes..more clothes as i know that the dyes that they are made up off are killing the person who made them..slowly but surely. I resent the fact that i switch on my reverse cycle airconditioner and heat the room up to 23C, and then switch the fan on * cause i NEED it perfect*, have a dooner and sleep in natural latex, when right now this very moment someone is freezing to death.

Its perfect, i have everthing. A great family,a great house..which i am not paying for, a beautiful girl who loves me, a job i like, the best boss in the world, great colleagues, i am healthy, I have good friends, i am young, i watch the world-cup in wide screen LCD right in my own house, . What a miserable life i live. Its sad.

Me
see my point ? not that i want to be the guy who has freeze died tonite, but i hate being aware of him.

Help.